The Best Laid Schemes Go Often Askew

When your life is in turmoil and the stress you are experiencing is off the charts, you thankfully think, “Well, at least we have our health and no one in the family is sick or has died.”

Well, our worst fear came true Saturday. Tom’s father passed away Saturday morning. We had known since last Wednesday that his sisters took their father to the hospital. They said that his body was filling with fluids. But what Tom and I didn’t know was that his father had cancer. We do know that his father had had some test done and when Tom talked to him a couple of months ago, his father told him that the tests came back negative.

Try as Tom did, he didn’t make it to the hospital to see his father before his final days. But did talk to him, by phone, on Thursday and then again minutes before he passed. Needless to say, it has been one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride here. We are lucky we haven’t cracked by now.

What is ironic is that we will be up there in about a month. Tom has to fly out to attend his father’s wake and funeral just weeks before we will be in town. There is a lot of chaos around here.

Today I washed and packed the kitchen. Save a few things we will still need while we are still here. Tom took 700 lbs. of stuff to the dump today. And 300 lbs.-or more- to the pawn shop which consisted of our outdoor grill, lawn mower, weed whacker, hedge trimmer, compound saw, tools, mason tools, numerous drill bits, and on and on…Stuff that was left over from the yard sale. Stuff that we had for the twenty years that we lived in this house. That isn’t even counting the stuff he took to The Salvation Army and the 700 lbs. he took to the dump over a month ago. We got rid of everything in the attic, shed and garage and a lot of things from the house. We just kept a few tools and some Christmas decorations that have meaning to us.  We still have so much more that we are letting go.

What else could go wrong? Well, Tom wrenched his elbow and arm loading the stuff onto the truck for the dump. He was trying to catch something that was falling, with his arm turned the way that it isn’t suppose to turn. Now, he is in constant pain. We’ve been icing it all day and hopefully it will be better tomorrow. If not…Geesh! There is not time for pain. We got to keep moving on. We have to get ready for him to fly back home, etc.

The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!

Update: Obituary-Tom’s dad.

5 thoughts on “The Best Laid Schemes Go Often Askew

  1. I see you are a New England Blogger now, I wonder why Delaware is not part of the New England, I could never figure that out or PA? I need to read about that because Steve does not know either! LOL! Big hugs


  2. HI Liz,

    Oh I am so sorry for Tom and your family over the loss of Tom’s dad. And hurting his arm the stress he must be under seems unbearable. Getting rid of so much must seem like a huge loss to you right now. I can read it in your words.
    I don’t know if this will help you or not feel better about the loss of so much, but I am going to tell you how I lost everything I had almost once.
    When I was married to my first husband the kids dad……I told him to leave and we had agreed on what he would take. He asked me for money to buy tires the night before he left. I went to work knowing that he was moving out the next day and when I arrived home with my two small children I could see through the window that he had taken everything – even the kitchen table that the children needed to eat on. He called me that evening and wanted to know what I thought now? I told him to bring the table and chairs back or my brothers would kick his butt. I hadn’t asked them, but that is what I told my x. He did bring the table and chairs back, but we started a new life without anything in the house. It was odd to not have a bed and all these things, but I remember feeling free – free from the oppression that I was under. I can only pray that God will give you the same peace he gave me to keep going…..that someday things would be better…….don’t give up, that is what the devil wants is for you to give up, you must keep going, one day at time sweet Jesus. On top of all that you’re all going through to have all these things happen is just disappointing and tremendously sad. Liz, I know you are strong, both of us coming from Alcoholic parents, we are not one to give up, we keep going, cry and do what you need to do be angry but keep going. I am praying for you! When are you leaving? I thought it was at the end of October. Okay well I have written a book here, I give you the only thing I know to give you is my LOVE & HUGS & PRAYERS my precious friend. (((((BIG HUGS)))))


  3. oh honey, i am so sorry! what a shame. especially in your circumstances. He probably didn’t want Tom to worry, but poor Tom, not to be there and that will forever be etched in his mind. I would think at least one of the family members would have told him. Oh well, what can you do now? I hope that’s not bad to say. but i guess that’s how i would feel. at least he’s got the precious memories of being able to talk to him on the phone. And what a blessing for his Dad to live to be 87 years old! Truly a blessing. I know that probably doesn’t make it any better to say that.
    I always say there is a reason for everything. I never understand it, but that’s what I always say. Life is funny sometimes and sure can throw some curve balls.

    I’m so sorry. please tell Tom. I imagine he’s back home by now.
    You’ve got a long road ahead of you, but it will be a good one! I’m happy you get to go back home.

    God Bless you all! My prayers and thoughts are with you. I wish there was something I could do!
    {{{{hugs to you!}}}


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